You Say Hello, I Say Goodbye...

After watching the cycle of Sunday morning talking head political shows, I felt saddened. I usually enjoy these types of shows, among other things, as a way to stay up on politics and the happenings of the moment.

Today, I felt like we as a country have gotten to a place of utter disgust.  I felt like I was watching children having a temper tantrum.  The politicians weren't listening, they were yelling and showing zero respect for the host or commentator.  Both sides are so far from finding common ground on ANYTHING, I don't see how we could ever recover.

Our political parties are so far apart nowadays, they don't even seem to be living in the same realities.  I'm not usually a "negative Nellie", but I'm feeling less than optimistic lately. 

Today, I feel more and more drawn to a life of an expat. I'm figuring how I can make it a reality because I'm not sure I want to live amongst this sort of drama and animosity. 

Why can't grown adults come together to have civil and respectful conversations to find common ground for the good of ALL?! It doesn't seem like rocket science to me, but I'm just an everyday, common working American.

I have varying opinions and beliefs from my friends, family and clients, BUT I'm able to have open conversations with them in a civil and understanding way. Do you know why??? Because I love them and respect them as human beings. I realize that in most cases, different does NOT mean wrong, it just means different. I think our elected politicians and leaders could use a lesson in this simple concept.

So for now, I'll continue planning my future that may or may not include living in the US. As the Beatles said, 'you say hello, I say goodbye'..... 

Empty Nest, Full Heart

When we hear the phrase, 'empty nest', we usually think of an older married couple whose children have all moved out and they are all alone. In many cases, it has a negative or sad connotation.

To me, 'empty nest' means something so much more. It means evenings spent enjoying a good movie, or reading a good book. It means playing board games with your partner and enjoying a rare sweet victory. It also means watching your favorite TV shows, which might include PBS News Hour, but that's an entirely different blog post..

I'll be honest, my feelings were mixed at first, until last night. 

I'll give you a little back story to set the stage. My husband and I married very young, I was 18, he was 19. We were high school sweethearts who began dating at 15 and 16. For us, marriage immediately following high school graduation was obvious. He was 2 years ahead of me in school so by the time I finished, he had 2 years of college under his belt. He had made the decision to finish his education at Mississippi State University in Starkville Mississippi. 

Plans were set, we would marry then move 8 hours from family and friends to begin our lives. We had a wonderful wedding and our move went smoothly. We were adjusting to newlywed live beautifully! Our apartment was basic, at best, and very affordable since we were in married housing on campus. We didn't care, we had each other and for us, it was a new exciting adventure. 

I worked full time at the local Wal-Mart while Andrew went to school full time and things were going great. We had made new friends and we were truly finding our niche in our new little life and community in Mississippi. 

It's amazing how things can change in an instant. 

It was March and I had come home to visit Missouri while Andrew was on a school trip for spring break. I was staying at my mom's house when I woke up with a terrible stomach ache. I've always had a sensitive stomach but this was different. I couldn't get the pain to subside. It was a sharp pain like I had never experienced. My mom decided to take me to the local ER and they gave me some antacid and said it was a possible stomach ulcer and for me to continue the prescription. 

Fast forward to May, we were visiting Missouri again for my sister-in-law's graduation. By this point, my stomach pain hadn't fully gone away, it had gotten worse and I had lost noticeable weight because I was starting to have trouble keeping food down. We hadn't mentioned much to our family because we were still unsure of what was happening. While we were in Missouri, our family had planned a trip to a Cardinals baseball game. After the game, my stomach had begun acting up and I got sick and I was unable to keep any food down. Once we finally got back home, things had calmed down but Andrew's family were all so worried about my health and what could be wrong. We promised that as soon as we returned to Mississippi, I would find a doctor and get to the bottom of this.

I found a doctor and after hearing my issues, his diagnosis was severe anxiety and obsessive control disorder. He prescribed heavy anti-anxiety medicine and advised that I get a fish.... 

Well, to say that diagnosis missed the mark is a complete understatement. While I was stressed because we were so far from family and friends, it was NOT making me sick. I knew in my bones that was an incorrect diagnosis. BUT, I got a fish, took my meds, lived in a haze for a month or so... and still got sick. I got worse. 

By the time July rolled around, I was barely 90lbs and struggling to work. I was so weak and in so much pain that I had to go back to the doctor to see if they could run tests and see if we could get to the bottom of this. In all of the times at various doctors, I had already had upper/lower GI tests run, x-rays, sonograms, endoscopy tests and they all showed nothing wrong. 

I finally had a doctor's appointment to see the same doctor and tell him his previous diagnosis was glaringly wrong. As luck would have it, he was on vacation so I was seen by his father, who was in practice with him. I'll never forget that appointment. I was so weak that I passed out trying to walk to the scales so they could get a weight, a whopping 89 pounds at this point. The nurses tried at least two times to get a blood pressure reading on both arms and couldn't pick anything up. When the doctor finally came in to see me, I was describing what was wrong and he had his back turned looking at my chart and when he turned to look at me, he said, "You are a very sick young lady". Immediately, he had me admitted to the hospital where they did a CT Scan of my abdomen and FINALLY found what was wrong with me and two days later, I was in surgery to clear an intestinal blockage. 

Throughout all of this scary sick time, Andrew was incredible. When I would get sick in the night, he would get up and change the trash bag and help me get cleaned up. He would draw me up the hottest baths to help me relax for a few minutes. He was thrown into this situation and handled it with so much love, grace and patience. 

Last night I was reminded of how carefree our first six months of marriage was. We played games, played video games, watched our favorite movies and ate ice cream straight from the carton. As Andrew grabbed his carton of ice cream and a spoon, we were gearing up to play Dominoes and I had to smile because here we were, 22 years later, feeling that same carefree feeling. 

So, an empty nest for us is a reminder of all we have been through and the excitement knowing that its just us two carefree kids again enjoying the simple things like a game of Dominoes and ice cream. 

Overwhelmed and Understimulated

Is it possible to be overwhelmed with your career/job and to also be under-stimulated at the same time?

This is an interesting question because I think it's possible. I am currently feeling this way and let me tell you, it's weird.

I can tell you, I have felt overwhelmed with the day to day operations of running my salon and working behind the chair to take care of my clients. There are days where it feels never ending. But here's the weird thing, I have also felt under stimulated in my career. I feel as though I've lost my passion or spark in working behind the chair with my clients. I am finding that I no longer want to venture out and be as creative as I once was. I feel as though my mind and heart are no longer engaged in my career, but I feel stressed at the same time.

Why, and more importantly how, does this happen? I'll tell you why and how... it's called burnout. It's a very real thing. I think burnout happens when we don't set appropriate boundaries in our careers. I see this happen so often with those who are business owners. We give and give and give in order to satisfy our customers and in turn, give too much and teach our customers how to treat us. We aren't setting healthy boundaries. We are so worried about losing the sale or losing that client, we can't find it in us to say "no".

I wonder where we got this idea of "the customer is always right" or "customer is king". These ideas and mindsets are why small business owners are retiring early or why people are feeling so defeated in their careers. We are overworked, underpaid and understimulated. In a word, we are suffering burnout.

So, what are some things we can do to set boundaries to help keep that spark or passion alive?? Here are a few things I've personally tried and have had success with.

1. Ask for help. Maybe it's as simple as asking your spouse or significant other to watch the store for a couple hours while you go for a walk or take a break. Or maybe you need help with completing a task, two sets of hands are always better than one!

2. Reconnect to your why. Take a look inside yourself and remember why you started this business. Why are you working this business? By defining or redefining your 'why', you can get that motivation back to stay focused and achieve the goal.

3. Adjust your schedule. Maybe you need to dial back and give yourself an extra day to just be you. Maybe that means a lazy day with no one at home but you. Or perhaps it could be a day where you allow yourself creative freedom to create art of some kind. Allowing yourself that extra time might just be what your brain needs.

4. Make a list of your top 3 things to accomplish for the day. Once those are marked off, make another top 3 list. A list of three isnt nearly as overwhelming as a list of 10. Take the tasks in smaller bite sized chunks so when you accomplish the three items, you feel success.

5. Go for a walk, run or get some fresh air. Sometimes just simply walking away, closing the shop and getting outside is all it takes to reset your mind and get it focused again. I know, personally, there is nothing better than a nice walk to help me clear my mind and get things back in line. 

6. Journal your thoughts, ideas and frustrations. Sometimes simply writing these things down helps clear your mind allows you to see things for what they are. I have found that blogging helps me get things out and once I do that, I feel a release. 

I hope these tips will help you in the day to day in your careers. The key is to know that you aren't alone. So many others feel what you're feeling or have felt it in the past. Remember that you are only one person and boundaries are a necessity for a healthy work/life balance. Don't be afraid to take care of yourself first. After all, you can't take care of your customers or clients if you have nothing left to give.

So remember when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, under-stimulated and just plain blah...  take some time to step back, set healthy boundaries and take care of yourself. You'll be glad you did! 

Take care, keep traveling and much love! 

H

Fearless Females who Travel Solo and LOVE IT: Part 3

I have to say, this series has been so much fun!! I've been able to connect with some remarkable women that I admire SO MUCH!!  These ladies are fearless, passionate and so full of life, how could I not admire them???!!

The next feature is a personal friend who I wanted to showcase because of just how PROUD I am of her!!  She traveled solo this past summer for the very first time. She took on the road and headed out to the western United States. We are from the same small town in middle America, so this was a daunting trip to many. Not to Kelly!!

A little back story on Kelly, she is a K-5 fine arts teacher in a local small school. She has a working farm with cattle, donkeys, chickens and even a few fish!!  She is married and has 4 children. BUT.... those kids are ALL under the age of 7 AND its TWO sets of TWINS!!! You read that correctly. Kelly is the proud mommma of TWO sets of twins!! Whew, just typing that makes me exhausted! 

When I asked her why she chose to travel solo, I LOVED her response and I hope it resonates with other moms out there.

"As a mom to 2 sets of twins, I need to reconnect and do self care.  I also want to be an example for my children that the world isn't a bad place, there are good people everywhere and they can do brave things as well."

How perfect is that response?! As mothers, we all want to be an example for our kids and embarking solo on a trip is such an incredible way to show them!



I was also curious about whether she was afraid during her trip, since it was her very first trip...

"Amazingly enough, I never felt afraid while traveling solo. I was a little worried when I was car sick while riding the shuttle up to Pike's Peak and couldn't really overcome it because of the (thin) air. Other than that, just the initial nerves upon embarking on my journey. The best part is meeting new people and learning their story."

YES!! I can't agree more! Traveling alone helps me to slow down, talk to more people and listen to their stories. Everyone has a story and everyone wants to share their story. Traveling solo allows me to truly focus on the new, interesting people I meet along the way. 


I hope Kelly's story has inspired you to take that first step and go at it solo. She has so many things in her life that COULD be used as excuses why to NOT travel, but she uses them as her inspiration and her reasons! She is being a remarkable mom by refilling her cup and showing her kids bravery and courage!

Kelly doesn't have a blog yet, but she kept a journal and as soon as she does start a blog, I'll be sure to share with you all! 

This series has been such an uplifting and inspiring series for me. It reaffirms why I travel solo and it encourages me to see that more and more women are choosing bravery and choosing to fill their cup with travel!

Keep traveling and Much Love!

H

Fearless Females who travel Solo and LOVE IT: Part 2

Thank you for joining me on my second week of featuring a fellow solo traveler.  I am loving this blog series!! The stories and pictures show just how incredible these women are and how they are truly living life to the fullest!  Let's be honest, that is what life is for, right?!? 

This week, I had the pleasure of connecting with Raksha Nagaraj, more often known as @solopassport on Instagram. She is a remarkable woman who travels, loves life and lives it to the fullest. She is an Indian woman who lives in Sydney Australia and works full time as a Business Analyst with an IT Firm.  Her posts and content always makes me smile! I asked her the same questions as our last feature and it's always great to see the varying viewpoints. 

I asked Raksha what her most memorable place traveled and why?

"I have travelled extensively, and I have many places in my list that are memorable. But New Zealand as a country definitely stands out. I have been to New Zealand about 5 times now and I go there every year. For an adventure soul like me, New Zealand is a perfect destination. It is a mecca for adventurous activities including bunjee jumping, sky diving and hiking. Lastly, I cannot stop talking about New Zealand without the mention of its spectacular landscapes."

I love this photo she shared! She is living life and all the random experiences that come with travel.

As a solo female who travels, we are always on a heightened alert where safety is concerned, so I asked her about a time she has ever been afraid. I feel like sharing these types of stories can give another woman the courage to share and the tips to possibly avoid a similar situation.

"Just to share a story from my solo traveling in Norway. I had booked a tour to chase Northern lights in Tromso and was expecting the tour guide to pick me up at around 9 at night. A van arrived and stopped in front of me and without thinking much I got into the van. Even though, I noticed that there were only two guys (including the driver) in the front row, I ignored. 

The panic started after a short drive from my hostel, when one of them turned to me and asked if I give my passport to him. I freaked out. After few questioning and discussions (as we had the language barrier), it turned out that because it was raining in Tromso, the tour agency was taking me to Finland to see the Northern lights."

This type of situation can be very scary and I'm so thankful for Raksha it was all good in the end. But, I wanted to include this particular story to remind ALL travelers to be aware and always ask plenty of questions before getting in an unknown vehicle in a foreign country. 

I want to end on a high note and I can't complete this blog without a final word from Raksha on why she travels. Her words and reasons mirror so many of my own and this photo captures her joy and peace. I love it!!

"For me, solo traveling is like meditation. I solo travel when I am upset about something, when I am happy about something or when I want to be myself. It provides me a platform to introspect myself and to get away from all the dramas of life. It is liberating, and I can do what I want without any judgements. And… it is a great way to meet other likeminded travellers from around the world." 

You can connect and follow Raksha through the following social outlets:

• Blog address: www.solopassport.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/solopassport
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/solopassport
• Email address: solopassport@gmail.com 

Thank you again for Raksha for sharing your story and I hope her story has inspired you to travel and brave the wide world solo! Just because you travel solo doesn't mean that you are alone. Next week, we will feature another fearless female who travels solo and LOVES IT, so be sure to check it out!

Keep Traveling and Much Love,

H

Fearless Females who Travel Solo and LOVE IT

As a female who thoroughly enjoys solo travel, I'm bombarded with questions such as...

"Aren't you afraid?!"... "What does your husband think?!"...

"Don't you get lonely?!".."Don't you feel unsafe?!".."Isn't it weird to do things alone?!"...

And the list goes on and on... 

I've been so fortunate to connect with some incredible women who choose to travel solo! In the next few blog entries, I'll be sharing their stories. Who they are, why they travel solo and why they LOVE it!!  I'm excited to share their stories and give them voices and to show that women traveling solo isn't so abnormal!

My first featured traveler is Ana Rijo who was born in Portugal but moved to London at the age of 25.

She found a new world opening up before her when she moved to London! Here are some of her words about why she travels and if she is ever afraid.

"I started travelling solo because I had a friend who bailed on me for a girl’s trip and I ended up going by myself (to Santorini, no less). I had a lot of fun exploring the island by myself at my own pace, doing my own thing, not having to worry about other people. And it started from there. I was open to having people travelling with, but I didn’t have anyone who wanted to, so I just decided to do it myself, and now I don’t even think about inviting other people to my trips, I just book them and enjoy them by myself. And I always end up meeting people along the way.  I know the world we live in is diverse, with different customs and traditions. I know that being a female can attract unwanted attention (unfortunately), but I’m not afraid of going to a new country. I think I’m more afraid to lose a flight or having my accommodation cancelled, etc."

I also asked if she had some advice for first timers and I loved her advice and I can definitely relate to her sound wisdom! Because she faced her fears, she has amazing memories to last a lifetime. This is why we travel!!

"I think my best advice would be “do not overthink. Just go and enjoy. The first solo trip might be daunting, but you will learn how strong you are”. I’m an overthinker by nature, but when it comes to travelling, I dive head in."

"the most memorable place I’ve travelled was definitely Budapest, Hungary. Besides being the first time I vlogged in front of a camera for an audience and having my videos on my YouTube channel, the city made me realise how much I love travelling and I wanted to do that as much as I could. It was the beginning of everything really."

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmA-8C0t4Rji8G0s_xi_ghA

Check out Ana's YouTube channel where she documents her travels, you are going to love it! Give her a follow on Instagram as well, she always has amazing travel photos, she is @red_girl_travels.  I hope it inspires you to take that first step and venture out on your very own solo adventure!!

Thank you to Ana for being so gracious and collaborating with me on this first post! Stay tuned for more stories from other fearless female travelers. 

As always, keep traveling and much love!

H

New Adventures

New adventures can be exciting, scary and a whirlwind all at the same time!  It's funny how when you are figuring what to do with your life, people say to find something you love and it won't seem like work.  That sounds good in premise, but how often does that happen, for real?

 

Putting yourself out there takes so much courage and bravery!

 

What if no one wants what I'm offering? 

What if I fail? 

What if I make a fool of myself?

Instead of focusing on the negative things that COULD go wrong, I decided to focus on what could go RIGHT!!!

What if I fulfill my wildest dreams?

What if I'm wildly successful?

What if this brings immeasurable joy to my life?

What if I'm able to share my joy with countless others?

I am excited to finally announce that I have started a new travel business!!  This has been a dream in the works for quite sometime.  As many of you know, I LOVE traveling and all things travel related! This is step one, and soon, hopefully, other steps will follow in my ultimate goal!!

This is going to be a fun and wild ride as I figure out the kinks! So, those of you who I will be helping as my first customers, thank you for your patience!!

It's funny how life can change and morph into so many different avenues. Certain chapters may be ugly and not worth mentioning, but if it weren't for THOSE chapters, you may not be EXACTLY where you are at this point. I am so thankful for the ugly, beautiful, crazy, hectic and unknown chapters of my life! I can look back and see how each one prepared me and taught me things that I am living now.

When life throws you a curve ball, or a new adventure is dropped in your lap, embrace it! Life is a journey full of ebbs and flows and its the only one we get. 

Much Love and Keep Traveling!

H